Cherished memories…*I miss you*

Today is a weird day. Firstly, it’s a Sunday. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Sundays. Only that I have this thing of HAVING to go out of the house at least once a day and if that doesn’t happen, I become super-cranky.

Then, I woke up this morning after some super-horrible dream. Not horrible, really. Just making me rehash memories and making me feel what I haven’t felt in ages. It was about P, how she has come here only for 2 days ang God knows what.

It felt quite awful. Because it felt exactly as if she really had come. And obviously, when I opened my eyes, everything was the same as before. Didn’t feel too good, mark my words.

Funny thing is…when i woke up, I didn’t immediately remember if I had had a dream or what it was about. But what was funny was the fact that I woke up and started acting all like a baby…the way I used to some months back…I couldn’t really figure out why. But obviously, the dream hit me and I found out why.

Now, the second I came online, Appley sent me these msges:

*apple* says:

i just read that thing

*apple* says:

i wrote for u n P wen she was leaving

*apple* says:

now im sad

Nostalgia struck, obviously. I read the thing she was talking about. Lol. So many memories flooded me, I actually felt breathless for a moment! I thought I would post it up here, just so that you people can have a share in Appley’s wisdom. lol.

P.S. For those of you who don’t know anything about me and P, we were more than best friends for a year and a half but then our school ended and we both moved along separate ways (I came to this excuse of a university, BNU, though I prefer the name Mickey Mouse University, and she is in England doing ACCA) but Al-Hamdulillah, we are still more than best friends, still in contact, still in ‘love’, still eating each other’s brains out every now and then. Hehe.

But I miss her like never before too.

When Z was leaving, I made her an unfinished file of memories and asked a couple of our  friends to write something for us. This is what Appley dearest, the writer, the sage, the experienced, wrote for us.

Salams paijaans, 

I know Sana wanted this to be handwritten but I’m as far from pens and papers these days as Sana has always been from neat handwriting =P lol, yes if I’m going through the trouble of writing this very difficult thing that I have been asked to write I WILL make jokes about both of you. 

So where do I start about the two of you? I don’t think I can add a lot to what you people have or what the both of you should do to make it even better but what I can offer, from my VAST experience in this field is advice about what NOT to do. I realize most of the things I’d write here are ones that you know already but I’ll just write em down for reminder sake. 

When two people are as close as you two are, one often tends to forget the boundaries where your own life ends and the other one’s begins. As close as you might be to each other never feel like you own or possess the other person. Always value each others’ views and respect the boundaries. Very often when you’re this close the boundaries tend to blur themselves and when you try to control the other person and she has to tell you that afterall it’s HER life, it comes to you as a shock. 

The worst thing that people can do is take each other for granted. Never think, uska kya hai who to hamaisha hee meri friend rahay gee. The little gestures, saying ‘I love you’ at the end of every phonecall, surprising each other with lil gifts, listening to each other rant about random things, crying together, laughing together, telling each other five minutes after meeting ‘I miss you already’, tend to be taken for granted gradually. It becomes very routine and the three words ‘I love you’ sound very common. Never let yourself think the other person doesn’t mean what she says, that she is obliged to say it to you, that it’s just out of aadat. Always believe in the love you have for each other, value each other. I read somewhere:  

Never take someone for granted. You might wake up one day and realizethat you lost a diamond while you were too busy searching for stones. 

A’Levels has ended, and we all have moved on and moved apart. As difficult that is to digest it is the truth. But this is where the real test of friendship begins. Nothing binds us together now, not school, not tuitions, not Zarish teaching
Sana Math, not
Sana lending Zarish Paulo Coelho books. What binds you two together is friendship and that alone only. You’re out of school, things will change, don’t expect them to remain the same. You will contact lesser than you used to, not because you don’t want to, just because its physically not possible coz of the distance. The key to any successful relationship lies in not living in the past, but the present and not worrying about the future. Don’t get caught up in the past coz as stupid as it might sound right now, it is very tempting, trying to live on memories. You will miss each other but don’t let that become your obsession. Remember each other in your prayers, write to each other, try to keep in contact but if the busy university life doesn’t allow you enough time don’t let yourself feel bad about it and don’t feel that the other person doesn’t love you anymore. I have never agreed with the ego theory that you people had but I always believe high self-esteem is absolutely necessary for any kind of relationship. I’ll enclose something for you two which was said by Kahlil Jibran in a very different context but I guess it would work for you too  

Love one another but make not a bond of love:Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.And stand together, yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart,And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’ 

And lastly never let your friendship be a source of displeasure for Allah for such worldly friendships are always short-lived. Guide each other and protect each other, always knowing where your responsibility stops and the other one’s begins. 

May you two enjoy the life long friendship everyone yearns for, may your husbands be best friends, may your kids get married to each other and may you bring loads of presents for me coz I wrote sweet things for you =D 

Love, yours Truly,T and T!