Regrets…

As usual, it’s 3:18 am and I’m sitting here, thinking. I was just thinking back to the Hajj days. The days that were and should have been full of serenity, beauty, peace of soul, happiness and that feeling of holiness pervading your soul. You know? They were, Al-Hamdulillah.

But now I sit back and think, there were so many moments over there that I wasted. Only a 22-day trip and there I was, wasting so many moments thinking about worldly things. Or getting upset because of a number of factors that bothered me over there. Something related to myself and the people I was with. All stupid, now that I think about it.

Now that I’m back, I think how could I possibly do that? How could I waste all those moments that I spent in being upset, low, or pissed or just plain brooding that I should have in fact spent in happiness? Being happy Allah blessed me. What greater blessing than the fact  that I was THERE?!

I wish I had realized how blessed every moment is and how happy I should have been, instead of getting upset about trivial things. Now I call all the problems trivial. Then they seemed all-important and all-encompassing. Now I (if I could) curse myself for wasting all those precious moments that I could have spent in joy, in happiness, in the peace that comes with the love and blessings of Allah.

And while telling P all this, I suddenly realized that this is exactly how life is. We waste so much of our time mourning and whining and crying over things which seem all-encompassing and all important. And later in life, we regret wasting all those moments in misery over the all-encompassing matters(which seem trivial later) when we could have spent them in happiness by counting all the blessings of Allah.

I mean, who doesn’t wanna be happy?

But instead of wasting our time listing our miseries and problems, we can start “earning” happiness. Like my Dulhan Rani, Blogging Cousin Part 1 very adequately puts, “And happiness is something that is earned. We all have an absolutely logical explanation for staying unhappy all our lives, trust me.”