Boo hoo!

Nobody comments on my blog!

My blog aint that boring…

…or is it?

Regrets…

As usual, it’s 3:18 am and I’m sitting here, thinking. I was just thinking back to the Hajj days. The days that were and should have been full of serenity, beauty, peace of soul, happiness and that feeling of holiness pervading your soul. You know? They were, Al-Hamdulillah.

But now I sit back and think, there were so many moments over there that I wasted. Only a 22-day trip and there I was, wasting so many moments thinking about worldly things. Or getting upset because of a number of factors that bothered me over there. Something related to myself and the people I was with. All stupid, now that I think about it.

Now that I’m back, I think how could I possibly do that? How could I waste all those moments that I spent in being upset, low, or pissed or just plain brooding that I should have in fact spent in happiness? Being happy Allah blessed me. What greater blessing than the fact  that I was THERE?!

I wish I had realized how blessed every moment is and how happy I should have been, instead of getting upset about trivial things. Now I call all the problems trivial. Then they seemed all-important and all-encompassing. Now I (if I could) curse myself for wasting all those precious moments that I could have spent in joy, in happiness, in the peace that comes with the love and blessings of Allah.

And while telling P all this, I suddenly realized that this is exactly how life is. We waste so much of our time mourning and whining and crying over things which seem all-encompassing and all important. And later in life, we regret wasting all those moments in misery over the all-encompassing matters(which seem trivial later) when we could have spent them in happiness by counting all the blessings of Allah.

I mean, who doesn’t wanna be happy?

But instead of wasting our time listing our miseries and problems, we can start “earning” happiness. Like my Dulhan Rani, Blogging Cousin Part 1 very adequately puts, “And happiness is something that is earned. We all have an absolutely logical explanation for staying unhappy all our lives, trust me.”

The best things…

…in life happen when they are least expected.

That’s what I have always believed because that’s what I have seen happening with me all my life.

I should have foreseen the Disaster which befell yesterday. I should have known. I was expecting too much, I was anticipating too much, and I was getting excited for no reason all too much. Lol. Usually these are clear indications that my dreams are gonna fall apart. Lol. So usually I prepare myself beforehand. Not this time, though.

You get where I am leading you to? You know how in life there are many times when you know something exciting, something great, something FUN is gonna happen and you look forward to it eagerly? You wait for it to happen? And then when finally the time comes for your ‘dreams’ to come true, things fall apart and nothing goes according to your expectations?

And then there are some times you don’t really know what to expect from a certain person, a certain event, a certain place? Or you don’t know how something may turn out? Or maybe you just don’t know something is gonna happen? And this time, this person, this happening turns out to be the best moments, the most beloved, the most cherished memories?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about right now.

I was waiting for something to happen. And when it finally did, everything fell apart. And I reacted stupidly. Immature, in my opinion.

I got pissed; took out the anger at the wrong person at the wrong time; threw tantrums; screamed at my family; fought with my parents; stayed depressed the entire time.

Why?

Just because something didn’t go quite to my liking.

I mean, now when I have slept over it (that’s my remedy for every disease!) I realize how selfish, how immature and how ungrateful it all is. Sometimes when things don’t go quite to my liking, I’ll act all stupid, get depressed, think I’m the most miserable victim of all time. And when Allah blesses me with unexpected happiness and surprises, life’s “fine” then?

How ungrateful! True is it when they say man is an ungrateful wretch. Or in the words of a great writer (me! ) “Humans are asses.”

Another lesson well-learnt: Never expect too much. Especially if it may not be all that Halal.