What the hay…!

Nobody comments on my blog!

My blog aint that boring…

…or is it?

As usual, it’s 3:18 am and I’m sitting here, thinking. I was just thinking back to the Hajj days. The days that were and should have been full of serenity, beauty, peace of soul, happiness and that feeling of holiness pervading your soul. You know? They were, Al-Hamdulillah.

But now I sit back and think, there were so many moments over there that I wasted. Only a 22-day trip and there I was, wasting so many moments thinking about worldly things. Or getting upset because of a number of factors that bothered me over there. Something related to myself and the people I was with. All stupid, now that I think about it.

Now that I’m back, I think how could I possibly do that? How could I waste all those moments that I spent in being upset, low, or pissed or just plain brooding that I should have in fact spent in happiness? Being happy Allah blessed me. What greater blessing than the fact  that I was THERE?!

I wish I had realized how blessed every moment is and how happy I should have been, instead of getting upset about trivial things. Now I call all the problems trivial. Then they seemed all-important and all-encompassing. Now I (if I could) curse myself for wasting all those precious moments that I could have spent in joy, in happiness, in the peace that comes with the love and blessings of Allah.

And while telling P all this, I suddenly realized that this is exactly how life is. We waste so much of our time mourning and whining and crying over things which seem all-encompassing and all important. And later in life, we regret wasting all those moments in misery over the all-encompassing matters(which seem trivial later) when we could have spent them in happiness by counting all the blessings of Allah.

I mean, who doesn’t wanna be happy?

But instead of wasting our time listing our miseries and problems, we can start “earning” happiness. Like my Dulhan Rani, Blogging Cousin Part 1 very adequately puts, “And happiness is something that is earned. We all have an absolutely logical explanation for staying unhappy all our lives, trust me.”

…in life happen when they are least expected.

That’s what I have always believed because that’s what I have seen happening with me all my life.

I should have foreseen the Disaster which befell yesterday. I should have known. I was expecting too much, I was anticipating too much, and I was getting excited for no reason all too much. Lol. Usually these are clear indications that my dreams are gonna fall apart. Lol. So usually I prepare myself beforehand. Not this time, though.

You get where I am leading you to? You know how in life there are many times when you know something exciting, something great, something FUN is gonna happen and you look forward to it eagerly? You wait for it to happen? And then when finally the time comes for your ‘dreams’ to come true, things fall apart and nothing goes according to your expectations?

And then there are some times you don’t really know what to expect from a certain person, a certain event, a certain place? Or you don’t know how something may turn out? Or maybe you just don’t know something is gonna happen? And this time, this person, this happening turns out to be the best moments, the most beloved, the most cherished memories?

Well, that’s what I’m talking about right now.

I was waiting for something to happen. And when it finally did, everything fell apart. And I reacted stupidly. Immature, in my opinion.

I got pissed; took out the anger at the wrong person at the wrong time; threw tantrums; screamed at my family; fought with my parents; stayed depressed the entire time.

Why?

Just because something didn’t go quite to my liking.

I mean, now when I have slept over it (that’s my remedy for every disease!) I realize how selfish, how immature and how ungrateful it all is. Sometimes when things don’t go quite to my liking, I’ll act all stupid, get depressed, think I’m the most miserable victim of all time. And when Allah blesses me with unexpected happiness and surprises, life’s “fine” then?

How ungrateful! True is it when they say man is an ungrateful wretch. Or in the words of a great writer (me! :D) “Humans are asses.”

Another lesson well-learnt: Never expect too much. Especially if it may not be all that Halal.

The golden-brown paper cracked as I tried to open it. I quickly hid it under a pillow, and with abated breath, waited for my Mom to rush in angrily.

For what seemed like eternity, I waited. I could hear my father’s snores in the other room so I assumed they were still sleeping. I took out the small golden-brown paper and looked at it longingly. Why, oh, why? Why was I forbidden? The entire world did what I wanted to. A and B just had that ‘forbidden fruit’ today while I had just stared at them enviously. They were looking at me; A had that superior proud look in her eyes. But I obviously couldn’t do it at that time. Mom was around. Even if she hadn’t been, I couldn’t trust those two not to spill my beans.

I smelled the golden-brown paper. Ah! Just the smell excited my entire body and sent delicious tickles up my spine. I placed the cracking paper beneath the mound of blankets, pillows and cushions and decided to just rip it open. Like we rip off a bandage in one quick motion.

The crack echoed in the room and kept re-echoing (or so I thought!) till my heart fluttered in my throat. I waited nervously under the covers, shutting my eyes lightly, just resting the eyelashes on my cheeks. I had mastered the act of feigning sleep by now.  Lie down on the bed with your legs sprawled out, breathe normally, and don’t squeeze your eyes shut.

After waiting for another eternity and praying inwardly all the while, I heaved a sigh of relief and took out the tiny, but, precious treasure of treasures which was almost cruelly sealed shut in the golden-brown paper.

I looked at it, my eyes filling with pleasure, my taste-buds craving it. Then I looked at the door once again and thought glumly, “Why, o, why was I born fat?”

Carefully, as if touching a sacred symbol, I took out the chocolate, put it in my mouth, and laid back on the pillows blissfully as the chocolate led me into Elysium.

I was just cleaning my ‘Academic’ cupboards and found a handful of short pieces of writing that I had done during my Art of Storytelling course. Now, I’ve gone a bit weird in the head for some time and nostalgiosis strikes at the stupidest things ALL the time.

The writings were just tiny little stupid things we had to do in ten minutes. Short writing exercises, to be precise. There is this one that we had to do in exactly ten minutes; a short scene focused on a specific moment in time. You get what I mean? I titled it “Elysium.”

Then, there’s this one in which we had to write a dialogue. Again, just a few minutes we were given to write it. No title or anything, but I got the remarks,”Just lovely! A lovely piece of writing!” so I’m definitely saving that, too. 

Now, experience tells me (and all the people who know me!) that it would do me no good to just save all those papers in which I’ve written them, coz I’ll lose them faster than you blink your eye. Then, luck warns me that my computer will probably die a horrible death soon, so I just might lose all that I’ve written. That has happened many times before.

So…I’ve decided, whether you like it or not, I’m saving them all here on my blog! They are all stupid and useless, really. But I wrote them, and some stupid and useless memory is linked to ‘em, so I decided to save them anyway. If you wish to read and/or comment, feel free to do so! 

P.s. Anybody has some medicine for nostalgiosis? I mean, think about it, the semester JUST ended a few weeks ago and I’m already feeling nostalgic! Ugh!

Contentment is a bigger blessing than happiness.

Right or Wrong?

I was just writing a comment for my ‘Mum, I’ve Decided to Follow Allah’ post and suddenly realized something. (Ok, I just suddenly didn’t realize it. This mighty truth dawned upon me some time back. Lol.)

I think that maybe all of us are born into some religion or the other but by the end of the day, it does become something we CHOOSE to follow or not follow. So maybe at the end of the day, we all are converts/reverts in a sense too since we only start following our religion when we make an educated choice whether we wish to follow the religion we were born into or not. No?

Lol…I’ve been sitting on the computer for six seven hours straight! Probably that’s why I’ve gone crazy posting, posting and posting on my blog. This is a conversation that I just had with a friend of mine. I copied it to send to a cousin of mine, and then I thought, “What the heck? Lets just post it on the blog!” So…here it is. My poor friend was very conscious of her nick but I told her it would serve as comic relief! Lol.

My mouth is on fire says:you know i had this revert friend

My mouth is on fire says:amd she used to be really afraid to tell them abt itMy mouth is on fire says:

My mouth is on fire says:and she started wearin hijab

My mouth is on fire says:that was 2 years

they chucked her out of the houseMy mouth is on fire says:so she wasn’t online for a couple of weeks

and now finally, she’s married and moving to Saudia arabia ~*ST*~ says:btw how did she revertMy mouth is on fire says:she didnt like christanity

thats itMy mouth is on fire says:it didnt take long and allMy mouth is on fire says:I’m still wearing hijaab, it got a lot worse with my parents after I last blogged, with my mother hitting me but I’m really happy to still be wearing it.

THIS IS FROM HER BLOG~*ST*~ says:saddMy mouth is on fire says:yeh but she’s all happy now

but that just sucks man! all da born muslims r such farigh ppl…v dont even realize wat a blessin it is to b able to practice our religion araam say, so easily…My mouth is on fire says:exactly!!!

it makes me pissed sometimes~*ST*~ says:at my family, myself, my friends. They CAN practice their religion easily, but do they?!

This is a very old newspaper article. Its by Kay Jardine, The Herald, March 8 2002, CE. I found it on the site www.thetruereligion.org.

Even though its very old, I’m still posting it up here. The comments by the reverts are just simply amazing!

I feel so sad! I knew reverts had a better understanding of the Deen than most of born Muslims. I wish I could make the entire LGS and BNU read this. *sniff*

Western women are turning to Islam in rapidly increasing numbers. KAY JARDINE discovers why they are so keen to become Muslims.

 Bullying, depression, and insomnia made Kimberley McCrindle’s teenage years particularly difficult. Taunts from classmates about her weight and how she looked left the 19-year-old student feeling like she didn’t really fit in, and always searching for something that would make her feel happy, that would make her feel she belonged. McCrindle, from a family of atheists, did not encounter religion until she began religious studies at high school in Penicuik, when her new interest prompted her to start going to her local church on Sundays. But the peace and happiness McCrindle was looking for eluded her until she started college in Edinburgh, where she made friends with some Muslim people and discovered Islam.

“I was looking for peace,” she says. “I’d had a rough past. My teenage years weren’t great: I was bullied at school, people called me fat and ugly, and I was looking for something to make me happy. I tried to go to church once a week but I wouldn’t class myself a Christian; I was just interested. But it wasn’t for me, I didn’t feel in place there.

“When you walk into a mosque you feel really peaceful. Praying five times a day is really focused. It gives you a purpose in your life. The Koran is like a guide to help you: when you read it, it makes you feel better.”

McCrindle became a Muslim three years ago and is now known by her married Arabic name, Tasnim Salih. She is one of a rapidly increasing number of British women turning to Islam, thought to be the fastest growing religion in the world. Although there are no official figures on the subject, there is no doubt that the number of converts is on the rise and the majority are women, according to Nicole Bourque, a senior lecturer in social anthropology at Glasgow University and an expert in conversion to Islam in Britain.

“There are people converting all the time,” she says. “I would estimate that there are probably around 200 converts to Islam in Glasgow alone, but that’s just a rough estimate. The data is difficult to acquire.”

Other estimates put the Glasgow figure closer to 500. Mohammad Faroghul-Quadri, imam at the Khazra mosque in
Glasgow, says that whichever religion people choose to reach God, whether it’s Christianity or Islam or something else, the important thing is that they are getting peace of mind and heart, and proper guidance from God.^[1]

The appeal of Islam to liberated western women is difficult for many to understand, largely because of the widespread perception in the west that it treats women badly. A forthcoming documentary, Mum I’m a Muslim, addresses this very issue by talking to converts in Sheffield about their experiences.

At a preview in Glasgow, I asked a group of converts from Glasgow and Edinburgh what motivated them to change every aspect of their lives, including their names, to become Muslim. For 27-year-old Bahiya Malik, or Lucy Norris to her parents, it’s difficult to explain. Bahiya, who lives in Edinburgh, her twin sister, Victoria, and their brother, Matthew, grew up as practising Christians in a rural area in the West Midlands, where they attended Sunday school in the little church at the top of their road. As they got older, the three stopped going to church and seven years ago, at the age of 20, both Bahiya and her sister converted to Islam - six months after their brother.

“Maybe all through our teenage years we hadn’t been that happy. I can’t really say what it was. I don’t know if we felt there was something missing or that we didn’t fit in. We were a little bit shy and we weren’t really outgoing sort of people,” she says.

At the time, Bahiya was two years into a media and television course in Edinburgh but was feeling uninspired. After around six months of learning about Islam, Bahiya realised that living her life according to the rules of Islam was what would make her happy and, during an emotional visit to a mosque in
London, made her declaration of faith.

 “I think it’s something you feel in your heart, this pull,” she says. “You can’t really put it into words. It’s like your heart speaking, something you feel inside and you know it’s for you. Allah has chosen this for you, it’s out of your power.”

Women who turn to Islam are aware of the widespread western perception that they are oppressed and discriminated against, but insist that the depiction is a false image. For many it is a spiritual journey, which, far from repressing them, improves their social status and gives them new rights.

“You seem to be really looked after,” says Tasnim. “As a Muslim woman, Muslim men really respect you; they do everything for you. You’re highly thought of and protected.” Bahiya says: “I feel that because you cover yourself up you’re not seen as a sex symbol, and because people can’t judge you on your appearance, they have to judge you as a human being. That’s quite liberating.”

As an act of modesty, many Muslim women don’t wear make up outside the home and it is often a part of their old life that new female converts are happy to discard because of the liberating feeling that comes from knowing their appearance doesn’t matter. They resist being shown as they were before their conversion.

 Hafsa Hashmi, who lives in Glasgow, converted to Islam 24 years ago and felt life outside Islam was like having to “keep up with the Joneses”. Under Islam, however, she says: “Your aim is not for this life, your aim is for the afterlife. To some people that sounds pretty horrific: they can’t think about death, but in Islam belief in the afterlife is one of its main features, because you know if you’re doing the right thing you’ve got a better life to come. So why go for all the material things?”

Converting to Islam usually means a complete change of lifestyle for those who take the plunge, including a different diet, often a new Arabic name, and your time revolving around the five daily Islamic prayers. In the workplace, some people organise with their employer a room where they can have some peace and quiet to pray. Wherever they are in the world, all Muslims face in the direction of the Kab’aa, or the Holy House in
Mecca, Saudi Arabia, during prayer.

For female converts, the experience can also involve a quite dramatic change in appearance. Muslim law provides that women must dress modestly. The hijab, or the head scarf, is a particular focal point and can be a tricky area for new Muslim women to deal with. Dr Bourque suggests this is because it is such a visible symbol of the faith. Tasnim wore the hijab straight away, although she found wearing it in public scary at first because she felt people were looking at her. She was then forced to take it off when she was out because of some of the comments directed at her. “People would shout, ‘Go back home to your own country’. I had someone spit at me once when I was standing at the bus stop at college.”

Now, though, she wears it all the time and says: “People don’t say anything to me now and I feel more confident about wearing it.” Bahiya was happy wearing the hijab from the beginning, but her parents found it quite difficult. She says her sister, her brother, and herself were lucky because their parents were “quite good” about their conversion.

For others, however, families are not always so accepting, often because they know little about the religion and why their loved ones want to follow it. For Tasnim, telling her parents, who are atheist, was nerve-wracking. “They thought I was going through a phase at first but they realised when I started wearing the hijab that I was serious. They started getting angry when I began to talk about getting married. They weren’t too pleased that I’d met someone older than me, who was Muslim as well, and a different nationality.” While Tasnim and her mother are still close and enjoy a good relationship, they tend not to talk about her faith much. She and her father no longer speak.

For Hafsa, telling her parents 24 years ago was perhaps even more difficult because converting to Islam then was anything but a common occurrence. The reactions of her parents were totally opposite. “I think my mother felt that I was only becoming a Muslim because of who I was marrying, but that wasn’t the case because I had been introduced to Islam about four years previously although I didn’t convert until I got married. It took her practically her whole life to get over it. When we got married, my mum said, ‘If you’re happy, I’m happy’, but obviously she wasn’t. My dad said it and he meant it, that was the difference between them.”

Tasnim has been married to Sabir, who is Sudanese, for two years, and says she has never been happier. “I met my husband at college and it seemed like the right thing to do. I was teaching him English and he was talking to me about Islam, and we just fell in love,” she says. Bahiya’s husband, Sharafuddin, is also is also a convert, formerly known as Cameron. They have two children, aged two and four.

For Tasnim, Bahiya, and Hafsa, life revolves around the five daily prayers, they cannot eat certain foods, or drink alcohol. But the women say they miss nothing from the days before they converted to Islam. “Islam is enough for me,” says Bahiya. “You don’t need anything else once you’ve found it.” Becoming Muslim has provided Tasnim with the happiness and belonging she was looking for. “It’s a complete change in your attitude, behaviour, and the way you think,” she says. “I’m now more confident, happy and satisfied. I’ve achieved the fulfilment I was looking for.”

Source: http://www.theherald.co.uk/perspective/archive/8-3-19102-21-6-52.html

Notes

[1] This is a a false statement. The only religion acceptable to Allah - the one which leads to true guidance and peace, is Islam: “Whoever seeks a religion other than Islam, it will never be accepted from him and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers” [Qur'an 3:85]

Lol. UHH…I forgot to say Assalamu Alaikum and Howdy doody to you folks ‘offically’ on the blog after I came back from Hajj. SO here…

Assalamu Alaikum!!

How were u guys behind me?

Missed me?

In case you are wondering, I’ll post some nice Hajj stories soon InshAllah!

Keep praying for me!

Wassalamu Alaikum,

Sana